A friend who never bothered to be a friend………

Standard

“Life is like a cocktail, but I will serve it to you with my mock-tale.”

So, here I go with my tale while you enjoy your cocktail…

I had a friend “Kekda” (that was the nickname given by me to “K”). He was with me since sixth standard. A very sweet, soft spoken person who was there anytime to lend a helping hand. I enjoyed his company because he always brought a smile on my face and it felt good to be with him (after all who does not wants to be surrounded by optimistic and cheerful people). I remember clearly, never ever did any of my friend wished me on my birthday (because it was during summer vacations and all went on for holidaying and relaxation), but he always wished me and has never missed even a single birthday till date (though now others have started wishing me thanks to online networking sites, but it hardly makes any difference).

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friendship2

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All seemed to be a smooth ride till last year. Since he opted for science stream in eleventh standard we got separated. I somehow was able to sense that this friendship might not survive the tide of time but I just prayed to god that no matter what it may be we still remain as good friends. I tried my level best to keep up with the passing time, but all efforts seemed to be futile. It didn’t really matter if he wasn’t in my class, but I wanted to keep up with the interaction like during the lunch break or at time of dispersal. But as it is said that one cannot clap without two hands, I think in my case also the other hand was missing and that was of “K”. My frustration and anger started building up when I had to wait for him like 10-15 minutes even after the dispersal outside his class with my other friends , but he never showed up as he found a bunch of “hip and hap friends.” Not once, but it started happening frequently. Finally, I knew it was all over. Though we never had any fights or arguments, but I think time has its toll on everything. I remember, I used to wait for my cab alone at time of dispersal and he used to stand there on the opposite side of the road enjoying a hearty treat of ice cream with his new found friends. I felt bad that he still couldn’t realize what he was heading towards.

It is said that there are certain things which are not under your control and may be I was expecting too much out of him that ultimately this friendship had to go off. Maybe he had started thinking that being with me would make him ” less happening ” just because I was a nerd ( or a padaku as everybody called me, but I never felt bad , rather I pity on them because they missed on every learning opportunity that the school life offered ).

Today, his exams were over and I too was online but he didn’t even dropped to say a “hi.” I cursed myself for saying someday that he was one of my “good friends.”

“K”, if somehow you are reading this, maybe you will understand me. I forgive you for whatever you did (may be you were right or may be I was expecting too much), but today I also give you my other hand for a clap to end this friendship with a small prayer in my heart to almighty to give you success in all your ventures in life. Amen…

So, your cocktail is finished and my friendship has ended virtually on this blog. I guess there are certain friendship which are never meant to blossom, but I thank “K” for always bringing a smile on my face.

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38 responses »

  1. it happens !!! After our school days , we all got dispersed in different colleges …. I have tried to keep in contact with most of them …. though very few of them respond by calling me back , still I keep dialling there number every now and then …. result , though seperations might have widened , but still we are friends and are in a constant touch with each other ….

  2. @ harsh : Well you can say that its very much similar to your case ,but the only difference is that you still regard them as “friends” and i dont .
    i think i just have a handful of people whom i can call as “friends” rest are just acquaintance πŸ™‚
    but i am fine with it. if he has decided to move on than so is my decision . now i dont give a damn to it πŸ˜›

      • Hey Luis,
        Welcome to the blog ! πŸ™‚
        I am Arpit and I am the writer and owner of this blog. I would like to know how can I help you with your problem .

  3. oh its a common story… we were the biggest group of girls in school till 10th then 11th divided us into 3 groups.. still we tried to keep the group stable but time goes on people move on…

    but i am happy we still are friends. not as close as we were back then. i just wished one of those her B’day today. but that is the only contact we have in all year. but we never miss b’days. πŸ™‚

  4. Same story here too… we were a group of 3 in school, all of us went on our ways after school. we were not in contact for pretty long time but i found one of them on orkut, after sometime met the other one too…. but i hardly get any replies if i contact them,
    You are right such kind of people can not be termed as “FRIENDS” they are mere “ACQUAINTANCES”….

  5. @ oorja :well everybody has been telling me this that its nothing new. maybe i will get used to it . after all people start showing their true colors after school life

    @ Sag : welcome to bits n bytes πŸ˜›
    i know but i am somehow finding it hard to reconcile with the fact . maybe time is the solution to every problem. yes, i think that concept of “best friends ” and all ……….its crap
    and thanks , i am glad you liked the header πŸ˜›

  6. @ Arpit : That is the most painful way to separate. The drifting apart. However there is a good lesson for you in all of this. All conditioned things are impermanent. Even friendships.

  7. @ odzer :i know that odzer. but i cant help . i wished we could talk about it but i guess it wouldnt have made much difference. if he had sensed it already he would have at least taken an initiative to communicate.
    yes , i have learned the lesson . thanks πŸ™‚

  8. I can empathize with you! It has happened to me too.

    Sometimes, as they say, familiarity breeds contempt.

    Hope K reads this!

    Blogging is surely therapeutic, as once wrote in a comment on my blog.

  9. well arpit , i can understand your feelings .sometimes we expect a lot from someone..or getting very close to someone ,but at the end that person gives so much of pain that no one can imagine what the other person is feeling !!
    if the person is a girl ,people think something else but if the person is a guy..then again something else..!!

  10. @ vikas : oh it doesnt matter if he reads this or not. i have moved on πŸ˜›
    yes, blogging is therapeutic, but anyways, such things do not make me feel sick. its okay…………….after all the show must go on πŸ˜›

    @rohan : welcome to bits n byes of life πŸ˜›
    yes, may be you are correct but i think i dont allow such things to bother me much. actually, it is better that i ventilated all my feeling through the blog else it would have been trapped forever.
    ah pain πŸ˜›
    you are very well aware , i make people feel miserable not the other way round πŸ˜›
    and in any case its his loss not mine …….so its fine

  11. it happens Arpit.. only very few friends will have special boding which makes them to understand even if they are not together.. πŸ™‚
    hope you will get ‘K’ as an understanding friend again.. but also think that is there anybody like you missing you.. and never let them off.. πŸ™‚

  12. People drift away. Priorities change. I had a school friend and we were in contact even after 10 years. But then he got married and we started drifting away.
    I had to let him go. It just happened. Its painful to cling to something which is not there anymore. Let it go.

  13. @ kanagu : well all said and done , i think i am not that kind of person who will waste my time on broken relationships.as i said if i have decided to move on, i will stick to my decision
    well i will say none πŸ˜›

    @ amit : yes amit, you are right . PRIORITIES do change . i would say this is the wisest advice i got. i shouldnt cling to something which has got nothing more to offer . thanks πŸ˜›

  14. Hmmm..you are right.
    There are times when you make all the efforts to go all the way for that very special friend, and then you realise that there is no such ‘way’. You were walking down the wrong path.
    This is life…

  15. @ dev : welcome to bits n bytes of life dev πŸ˜›
    well i wouldnt say i chose the wrong path , but may be i was wrong at judging people ………….such is life ………….

  16. i’ve been through many friendship like that myself. yet every time it happens, it cuts me deep inside. i’m sorry to hear your friendship ended like this.

    there’s a saying that goes that some people are only meant to be in your life for a moment. i disagreed with that view because i believe if two people are genuine in keeping the friendship then it could last a lifetime.

    but now i think, i suppose friendships that last a moment separates the friends who have been there a little longer and makes me appreciate their loyalty. these short-term friendships help me see who my real friends are.

  17. Hello!
    Very Interesting post! Thank you for such interesting resource!
    PS: Sorry for my bad english, I’v just started to learn this language πŸ˜‰
    See you!
    Your, Raiul Baztepo

  18. Nice effort for the header.. hard work always pays……

    i likes the color scheme most.. as green is my favorite color πŸ™‚

  19. @ sulz : yes, you surely have a different take on this.but you see such blink and miss “friendships” are less reliable and unpredictable which always tend to end on a bitter note.
    and please dont feel sorry about it. in fact i , myself , am not feeling rather i am feeling relaxed as if some burden has been put off from my life πŸ˜›

    @raiulBaztepo : welcome to bits n bytes of life πŸ˜›
    i am glad you liked the post πŸ˜›

    @SAG : thank you πŸ˜›

  20. Hii Arpit!! Firstly, welcome back πŸ˜€
    Well.. yes its a common story but when it happens to you its always personal. I have got friends with whom I lost touch after school, and also those with whom I try & keep in touch even now.
    Its better to have a small but fruitful relation rather than having a long-lasting one without any essence!! So, in a way, probably, it was all good. But yes! you always wish if it could’ve ended in a better way!!
    As you say..The show must go on… so Go on.. and write a cheerful post next.. πŸ™‚

    Btw, nice new header you got. From when are you taking orders?? πŸ˜›

  21. It happened now and will happen in coming future too…u will add many more to this list as you sail through your college and professional life. But, still a few names would remain with you. Such friends, whom you might not call or chat say for months…but they will always be there for you at the drop of a hat!

  22. and when it comes to being nerd…. ha ha! I have one of my closest friend who is Gemini. In school, you had to see him. He might be an average looking, thin guy in school who was amongst ones who were more than reasonably well in studies. He was quite simple and very chilled out and shaant sorts. I have never ever seen him angry or into any kind of fights till this date.So, u can say that he was quite not happening sort of guys in school…I had a big-time crush on him! πŸ˜€

    But, now you look at the man. OMG! He has grown into such an intelligent, handome and charming young thing with so much of chivalry and respect for women! I still tease him with that crush thing! πŸ˜‰ My appreciation of this person has literally converted into a lot of love and respect which reflects in our friendship even if we meet say twice in one year.

    So, more than being nerdy or padaku in school, what ultimately matters is how you become in your life and what values you imbibe in and off school!

  23. @ ambika : thanks Ambika for that warm welcome πŸ˜›
    yes, you are right that in the long run the essence may be lost…………but i feel that long term relationships are more fruitful , reliable and yes obviously it needs lot of time and continuous communication .
    but i am happy that it all ended , not that well , but it finally ended πŸ˜›

    haha……..well any day you say. in between i am idle these days, so i can create it sooner πŸ˜†

    @ willow : yes, i know that the list will be endless πŸ˜›
    well the coming years will have an answer to whether my “friends” still contact me at the drop of the hat ( i guess yes, i have some πŸ˜› )

    yes, what at the end matters is the kind of person you are and what values you uphold. i feel looks can be deceptive, but i am fine with it until i have the most important people in my life who continue to love me, care for me πŸ˜›
    i corrected the error.

  24. @withering willow: take it easy, blogging is a platform meant to communicate and not to accuracy of langauge and grammar. πŸ™‚

    @arpit: There have been so many friendships that have died on drifting. With women, after they get married, their whole prespective chnages. So you can imagine how many girlfriends I may have lost over the years. Most of my frinds were swamped by US. All my college friends and later few more friends.

    But I can tell you this, for every phase of life, every trouble, God does send you a friend. I thought I had rough patch last year. I lamented loss of all those friends who got drifted and friends who were there but cudnt’t be there for various reasons. Adult life IS busy. But you know what, amidst all this bustle too, I found myself anotehr 4am friend who I can bank on. Go on, life is beautiful, you will find fellow friends along the way. πŸ™‚

  25. @Poonam

    I wish I could convince myself that “blogging is a platform meant to communicate and not to accuracy of language and grammar”!

    My English and Grammar is not up to par and I am eternally worried about it. I cannot not think of English, Vocabulary and Grammar!

  26. Mr. Arpit…pull up ur socks……..cracking an entrance is no child’s play when lakhs are competing for a handful of seats…else I also believe that blogging is a platform meant to communicate and not to point accuracy of language and grammar. πŸ˜€

    So, u can see as a reader how much pains ur reder are putting in to point

  27. @ poonam : thanks for that booster πŸ˜›
    yes, i know i will surely have more of them and i wish i too get one 4am friend πŸ˜†
    thanks! i am glad you liked it πŸ˜›

    @ willow: yes, i am obliged to have a reader like you πŸ˜›
    its absolutely fine with me as long as you are there to correct my mistakes πŸ˜›
    and thanks for the corrections, i will do it for the rest of my posts .

  28. Hey Arpit, this is part and parcel of life.. you need to look over and above those things and simply move on. Don’t fret on why you don’t have a person in your life; instead, be thankful for the moments you shared together and the difference he/she made to you.

    And don’t let Willow give you a nerve about cracking entrance exams. We all are sure you will do really well πŸ™‚

    arpit : yes, i know thats the best thing to do πŸ˜›
    and thanks for your support πŸ˜›

  29. i had gone thro something like this as well but the girl realised what she had lost over a period of time.. now we are best friends like before… i guess u just need to give it time… and things will fall into place.. πŸ˜€

  30. Hello ! πŸ˜‰
    I am Piter Kokoniz. Just want to tell, that your blog is really cool
    And want to ask you: is this blog your hobby?
    Sorry for my bad english:)
    Tnx!
    Your Piter Kokoniz, from Latvia

  31. Hi Arpit..
    i was browsing through google trying to find some stuff, when i accidentally hit this site. and thanks to god, that i did.
    firstly, i was drawn in to this topic, cos of the interesting header, when i read it, i couldn’t believe it, that the same thing could have had happened to someone else too.
    instead of “K”
    i had a friend named Rohit. every possible step, he took my help. and once he finished his purpose, he wouldn’t even recognise me. sometimes i wonder, being a Geminian, how can i take things without even protesting, but sadly, i haven’t found an answer to that yet.
    i hate such people who use their friends. and i wonder, what will happen to these hapless group, when we truly move away from them.
    amazing blog buddy. keep it up.
    @ soumyadeep : welcome to bits n bytes of life πŸ˜›
    i guess being a gemini is actually not a curse but a blessing because geminis really have that aura and charm that they can make people fall for them . in exact words gemini know how to be the center of attraction. and this becomes one of the reason for the kind of broken relationships we have to deal with. so just be proud of being a GEMINI πŸ˜›
    and when it comes to such hapless people ……its no way your or my fault. its actually the loss of such fools who were lucky enough to enjoy a little good time with the “SO PROUD GEMININI” like us! so just be relaxed and move over such morons ! πŸ˜›

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