Pondering over instances that reminded me of how sometimes we meticulously plan our life just to realize that in reality we might be pushed to a dead end, I couldn’t help but think how unpredictable and uncertain life can be. We become so optimistic about plan A that we totally ignore plan B. At least that’s what most of us always do knowing that a failure may just throw our life out of gear. But then you realize, this is life, you live it only once with no backups and no sureties.
Then how do we survive through the dark tunnel that terrorizes us till the time we see some rays of hope. In such moments, we are reduced to our most vulnerable form and our insecurities come alive. The feeling of helplessness is uncalled but slowly slithers in like a snake. It’s in such situations that we realize we are undergoing a real crisis. It becomes extremely easy to lose ourselves and feel miserable not knowing what to do. But as it is said that judge no man’s character in sunny times, wait for the storm to barge in and see if he is still alive.
Thinking of dead ends and standstills, in this quarter lived life I have bumped into my share of such phases.But what surprises me is how I have learnt to enjoy and discover myself when life comes to a halt. I remember my first brush with the dark tunnel and the cry baby reactions to it. But with age, oh boy, I feel I have learnt to accept uncertainties’ gracefully. Just recently, I read about Ellis Stewart’s attempt to climb Mount Everest that he has shared in his novel – Everest, It’s not about the summit.
He has so beautifully described how his life came to a standstill when he failed at his attempt to climb Cho Oyu (the sixth highest peak in the world), became a divorced father at 28, and was left with no money, job and home. He was depressed but still kept on going. But the most appreciable part about Ellis is he never gave up and survived through times to live his dream of climbing up the Everest and writing a novel on it. I am reminded of another such instance of courage and adaptability to uncertainties of people from Kashmir who have survived in the most heavily militarized area of the world yet have not given up on their hopes to see a normal life knowing that it is a far-fetched dream.I have realized that in uncertainties’ you can both stare back at life and look into its eyes or you can just shy away and drive yourself in a cramped hole. Maybe staring might not give you much of joy but will give you the courage to push through the dead end and make your own way.
And sometimes it’s important to remind ourselves, ‘but darling, in the end you got to be your own hero because everyone is too busy trying to save themselves’.
PS – The inspiration for this post is Ellis’s novel that I am half way through but could not help to write about it even before completing it. And yes! I
wrote typed this post on my phone while listening to Despacito and staring at the absurd looking poop emoticon styled hair band of the woman standing right next to me in the MRT. 🙂