Tag Archives: friends

Singing a silent song……………..

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PS– If you have always liked knowing the brighter side of the blogger inside me than you had better skip this post for it is dark, sorrowful and intensely emotional.

” Sometimes there is a need to put down the hour glass and observe the time fly by because in that moment of introspection actions deem to speak up for themselves………………………………”

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These past few months have been really traumatizing for me. So many changes , perhaps I would have never imagined in the worst of my nightmares , have taken place that I silently want to bury away my past and want to start afresh. There have been moments when I have silently cried through nights, there have been moments when I hated myself,felt the pangs of jealousy, envied what others have,then there have been moments when I have cursed people, cursed my very own destiny and cursed almighty. It was a period of  unbound grief, cascading sorrow,shattered confidence and falsehood. But I think what kept me intact was the power of those special , life long relationship where a mother lovingly wiped away my tears silently praying to almighty for my good health and good luck, where a father silently supported me with his wisdom, where  loving  sisters always tried to bring a smile on my face assuring me that hard work will pay off one day, where a friend in the darkest of time brought back glimpses of light in my life assuring me that one day I will shine like a star, where a group of closest school buddies gave me that unimaginable strength to keep on fighting knowingly that it was an unequal battle between destiny and me. How can I forget the most important of  all , my alter ego, my soul which kept on telling me that victory is not so far.

In this moment of introspection I realized the worth of those special bonds which will always hold me tightly even when I  break down into fits of grief and sorrow. It seems that life has altogether shown me a different phase with a lesson to be remembered life long . Money, fame, power are just those few materialistic things which can never give you the strength to face the worst of all nightmares.Its those special relationship which matter the most in life because  when the soul will depart it will memorize the worth of what almighty has bestowed upon us. The worth of human relationships.

Even as I write this post I am moved and left teary eyed for the endless support my family ,my friends and my best friend have provided me in this difficult time. And above all my gratitude towards my soul for helping me to restore the connection with almighty  because of whom the living nightmare has ended, for the endless strength ,power and patience  to break away from that glass dream which was actually not my own dream. In this moment of self inspection my actions have spoken aloud that what I am heading towards now will surely bring peace, serenity and self satisfaction in life .AMEN……………………………….


A friend who never bothered to be a friend………

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“Life is like a cocktail, but I will serve it to you with my mock-tale.”

So, here I go with my tale while you enjoy your cocktail…

I had a friend “Kekda” (that was the nickname given by me to “K”). He was with me since sixth standard. A very sweet, soft spoken person who was there anytime to lend a helping hand. I enjoyed his company because he always brought a smile on my face and it felt good to be with him (after all who does not wants to be surrounded by optimistic and cheerful people). I remember clearly, never ever did any of my friend wished me on my birthday (because it was during summer vacations and all went on for holidaying and relaxation), but he always wished me and has never missed even a single birthday till date (though now others have started wishing me thanks to online networking sites, but it hardly makes any difference).

 

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All seemed to be a smooth ride till last year. Since he opted for science stream in eleventh standard we got separated. I somehow was able to sense that this friendship might not survive the tide of time but I just prayed to god that no matter what it may be we still remain as good friends. I tried my level best to keep up with the passing time, but all efforts seemed to be futile. It didn’t really matter if he wasn’t in my class, but I wanted to keep up with the interaction like during the lunch break or at time of dispersal. But as it is said that one cannot clap without two hands, I think in my case also the other hand was missing and that was of “K”. My frustration and anger started building up when I had to wait for him like 10-15 minutes even after the dispersal outside his class with my other friends , but he never showed up as he found a bunch of “hip and hap friends.” Not once, but it started happening frequently. Finally, I knew it was all over. Though we never had any fights or arguments, but I think time has its toll on everything. I remember, I used to wait for my cab alone at time of dispersal and he used to stand there on the opposite side of the road enjoying a hearty treat of ice cream with his new found friends. I felt bad that he still couldn’t realize what he was heading towards.

It is said that there are certain things which are not under your control and may be I was expecting too much out of him that ultimately this friendship had to go off. Maybe he had started thinking that being with me would make him ” less happening ” just because I was a nerd ( or a padaku as everybody called me, but I never felt bad , rather I pity on them because they missed on every learning opportunity that the school life offered ).

Today, his exams were over and I too was online but he didn’t even dropped to say a “hi.” I cursed myself for saying someday that he was one of my “good friends.”

“K”, if somehow you are reading this, maybe you will understand me. I forgive you for whatever you did (may be you were right or may be I was expecting too much), but today I also give you my other hand for a clap to end this friendship with a small prayer in my heart to almighty to give you success in all your ventures in life. Amen…

So, your cocktail is finished and my friendship has ended virtually on this blog. I guess there are certain friendship which are never meant to blossom, but I thank “K” for always bringing a smile on my face.