Tag Archives: wishes

Singing a silent song……………..

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PS– If you have always liked knowing the brighter side of the blogger inside me than you had better skip this post for it is dark, sorrowful and intensely emotional.

” Sometimes there is a need to put down the hour glass and observe the time fly by because in that moment of introspection actions deem to speak up for themselves………………………………”

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These past few months have been really traumatizing for me. So many changes , perhaps I would have never imagined in the worst of my nightmares , have taken place that I silently want to bury away my past and want to start afresh. There have been moments when I have silently cried through nights, there have been moments when I hated myself,felt the pangs of jealousy, envied what others have,then there have been moments when I have cursed people, cursed my very own destiny and cursed almighty. It was a period of  unbound grief, cascading sorrow,shattered confidence and falsehood. But I think what kept me intact was the power of those special , life long relationship where a mother lovingly wiped away my tears silently praying to almighty for my good health and good luck, where a father silently supported me with his wisdom, where  loving  sisters always tried to bring a smile on my face assuring me that hard work will pay off one day, where a friend in the darkest of time brought back glimpses of light in my life assuring me that one day I will shine like a star, where a group of closest school buddies gave me that unimaginable strength to keep on fighting knowingly that it was an unequal battle between destiny and me. How can I forget the most important of  all , my alter ego, my soul which kept on telling me that victory is not so far.

In this moment of introspection I realized the worth of those special bonds which will always hold me tightly even when I  break down into fits of grief and sorrow. It seems that life has altogether shown me a different phase with a lesson to be remembered life long . Money, fame, power are just those few materialistic things which can never give you the strength to face the worst of all nightmares.Its those special relationship which matter the most in life because  when the soul will depart it will memorize the worth of what almighty has bestowed upon us. The worth of human relationships.

Even as I write this post I am moved and left teary eyed for the endless support my family ,my friends and my best friend have provided me in this difficult time. And above all my gratitude towards my soul for helping me to restore the connection with almighty  because of whom the living nightmare has ended, for the endless strength ,power and patience  to break away from that glass dream which was actually not my own dream. In this moment of self inspection my actions have spoken aloud that what I am heading towards now will surely bring peace, serenity and self satisfaction in life .AMEN……………………………….


Shhh……. I am dreaming !

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“Dreams are like walk into reality , the sooner you realize them the bigger and the better is the picture, sometimes dim, sometimes bright and sometimes just a myriad thought waiting to take a wing.”

I dream, you dream , we all dream ( and some even day dream 😀 ) . But what do we dream of ? Something which is close to our heart, something which we yearn for and something which is nourished as a secret desire in our conscious and subconscious mind . A dream is an opening to a world where the imagination has no bounds , where reel is actually real and where we are no less than the vision of our eyes painting the picture of our aspirations , our longings and our passions.Its just like a waking wish fulfillment in amidst of the monotony playing on our sides .

I have had several dreams , dreams which were point blank, dreams which depicted my wishes, my longing for things which I cherish the most, dreams of my secret desires , dreams which sometimes left me in tears in reality and dreams which wanted to say something but left me clueless as I searched for the answer.

” It was a big hall with sun baked walls and huge windows on the adjacent sides. There were chairs , tables and it seemed some class was in procession but without a teacher…….. unfamiliar faces and there I was seated on the last bench near the window. I had my invisible head laid on the table and I was talking to someone.midnight_dreams2……someone I knew ……..” but your name is so weird !” I remarked ………..”can you please repeat it ?”….”%@$$$$$” ……” oh so how do you pronounce it?” I inquired “shriiii%%$$”. I couldnt get the pronunciation……..and then there was sudden darkness in the hall ……lights went off . The wind started blowing as if it could tear us away into nothingness .And there it was ……booming…..bigger and bigger . Its tips sucking away whatever came by its way…. it was approaching towards us…. I went into hiding under the table as there was no other shelter . And than it rolled over us and there I saw it take her away as she smiled and bid her final adieu. I tried to pull her back and wanted to know her name ……..but she was gone…… who was she ……. a friend? a classmate? an acquaintance?But I had no answer. The tornado took her away……. and than there was silence. I leap out of the window. The sky looked like a beautiful painting of shades of yellow and fuscia pink ……. the downpour had started as if someone was crying aloud for a long lost. And than from nowhere came a postman . He gave me a parcel. It looked like a gift but clumsily packed . I asked him for whom it was? It was for “shrii%%%$$” . He told me it was her birthday today. But she was gone ………………….I asked ” Who send it “?.He answered “Her father” .I looked for the date . It was send today itself and with a message ” shri%%$$, your father is dead”. I shrieked . My nerves froze . I couldn’t move a muscle.Just than I began to run towards the entrance of the hall……… and than a blue , icy wave stood still as if waiting for somebody …….I was petrified with a regret ..I couldn’t pronounce her name……and I knew it was the end ……..the wave crushed me ruthlessly and I drowned but the last words I heard was “POSEIDON” .

Lost in the whirlpool, I landed back again into reality. It was 7:30 a.m. in the morning. My sister was getting ready to leave for office, mother had already left for her school and I sat upright, awake just remembering what I saw.This was the weirdest of all dreams I have ever had. But it was left open ended.

The word Poseidon left me wandering. I searched for its dictionary meaning but it didn’t exist . While writing this post I searched for it on Wikipedia and it stated “Poseidon was a major civic god of several cities: in Athens, he was second only to Athena in importance; while in Corinth and many cities of Magna Gracia he was the chief god of the polis. In his benign aspect, Poseidon was seen as creating new islands and offering calm seas. When offended or ignored, he supposedly struck the ground with his trident and caused chaotic springs, earthquakes, drownings and shipwrecks. Sailors prayed to Poseidon for a safe voyage, sometimes drowning horses as a sacrifice.”

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I thought it was interesting enough to write about , though I myself didn’t have a clue of what it meant…….but may be it was some omen ……….something bad had come to an end with the wave washing away everything . That girl had something to say. Something was hidden in her name which I couldn’t understand ,was it an indication of something which was going to happen in the future, was it my longing for experiencing a tornado (weird 😛 )……but it was another episode which had a dramatic end. 😀

PS– This post is an effort to revive my sleeping blog. This time I was serious on shutting down this blog for no reasons. But I am glad I discussed this issue with Withering Willow and Sulz. Both felt I was burned out at blogging and I should take some time off and let it go easily. I never thought of shutting down this blog in worst of my dreams …..rather I felt relaxed at blogging as it got me new friends, a domain to share my views and my opinions. So thank you both of you for preventing me from doing so and thanks to all my readers for showing your touch of appreciation  and constant support because of which I have decided to give it another chance .

I hope you liked this post, though it is still a little weird for me but I think that wave was an indication of washing away of this burnout of blogging and I am glad it happened 😀