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” You call it a day when you start seeing the sun shining at night “

A boomerang city called “Delhi” ,Part II

“A city of honking cars, jammed streets, loud mouthed people, notorious auto rickshaw drivers, uncouth policemen, corrupt white collar officials, gossiping neighbors, eve teasers and blah blah blah!”. Does this sounds synonymous to Delhi. It not only sounds synonymous but it is actually Delhi. Welcome to the capital of India and the proud host of Common Wealth Games 2010, my very own DELHI (thunderous applauds with drums rolling!). Now what makes Delhi the melting pot of so many uncultured cultured people.Its time to take hot shots at the typical Delhiites :

The Agony aunts : Baby problem, marriage problem, health problem…….no worries. These agony aunts akka the latest peeping toms are here to your rescue. They don’t shy away from asking questions like ” Kudi ki shaadi nu bohot time ho gaya ,  koi khush khabri hai kya….. bachha ho nahi raha ya abhi karna hi nahi chahte ( its been a long time since your daughter got married, any good news? ah! your daughter cannot conceive or is it that she doesn’t want to ). One cup of hot tea with biscuits will just suffice for these “problem busters” to discuss the latest gossips doing the round in the neighborhood like who got married, who got divorced, who is dating whom, who cannot conceive, who has got a new salwar kurti……..and blah blah blah! These are the gossip mongers , problem “creators” and the unprecedented wanna be page 3 ( no page for them) self styled new version of  agony aunts.

The notorious auto rickshaw drivers : They are the latest entrepreneurs making the big cut hole in our pockets.”Grahak ko paagal banayo aur paisa kamao(make money and be fool the customers) “is their new slogan. They are the beneficiaries of recession. The smartest of  the lots , they will prefer to sit ideal than helping a poor commuter reach his destination. And a glimpse of foreign tourists or visitors lends gold to their eyes.

The peeing toms: STINK……..STENCH……….PHEW! These desi toms will urinate anywhere and everywhere, mindlessly scratch their crotch in the public and  spit with the weirdest of the sound. They paint the city red and yellow because these are the only colors they have ever known .For them peeing is a time pass , so whenever they get a chance they will never miss on it. Public urinals or no urinals…….who gives a damn …just concentrate on peeing.

Mr congeniality cum Mr eve teaser :For them women are like Jadoo( the alien), they want to “frandship ” with them, whistle at them and eve tease them. Meet the Mr Congeniality(s) who think they have” beauty contest winner looks”, that all the aliens women will be ready to “frandship “with them. And then there are sub title winners like Mr Eve teaser who will play loud music in his car ,preferably some english song(which sounds like french to them), stop their car and will offer a lift to the alien . And I wish the alien just pepper sprays at him . BINGO!

The serial swearers : M***** F***** , S***** F***** and ******************. Their morning start with beeps and ends with beeps. They will not miss out a chance to use the swear word, to abuse your mothers and sisters and day in day out they add new words  to their  abuses dictionary.They use all their wits to develop a new lingo which I call the swear lingo. What hard working and generous people! (ahem ahem)

The Bling on beauties : Occasion or no occasion these fashion divas disasters cannot look anything beyond the bling factor. Be it marriage or  a simple cocktail party ( if they have ever been invited to one), these divas cannot live without their ostentatious jewelry and  flashy saris .For them simplicity earn you BOOH -HOO . For them the  more flashy you are,the more you are fashionably hip and up market. They are the original disaster queens .

The gently corrupt brigade : Who said corruption is bad when it can swell up your belly , lends you the power to misuse law and grants you  the worldly comforts. Welcome the corrupt brigade of Delhi. Uncouth policemen, politicians and other white collar officials who wouldn’t mind stripping you not only of money, clothes but also of your self respect as “bribery” for the progress of the nation wins hands down!

The irony comes with the fact that the city which I  praised to the hilt has such a cold shoulder to smother.Delhi has once again revealed a not so appreciable facet.